As I stare at the rain following outside, I am reminded of this day 16 years ago. It was raining on that day as well.....freezing rain with an inch or two of ice. I was a patient at Sparks Regional Medical Center in Fort Smith, Arkansas suffering from pre-eclampysia (not really "suffering" when you consider at the time of my admission I was the ONLY patient on the maternity wing; for 3 days I was Princess Tamara of the Labor and Delivery Province) .
I had been admitted to the hospital due to high blood pressure among other signs that were evident during my first 'every 2 weeks' appointment. My OB, Dr. McClannahan, informed me that he would leave instructions for me to be discharged on Wednesday. He had won a duck hunting trip to Northeast Louisiana and would be leaving the next morning. (God Thing 1) I begged him not to go but you know hunters.....they never listen to reason. Dr. McClannahan had ordered steroid shots be given to me that would boost the growth of Moriah's lungs. (God Thing 2) He assured me that while more than likely she was going to be born early, it would not be this week. So, I do have a history of using performance enhancing drugs if the question ever arises. I expect you all to hold me accountable. My only concern was in the event she did not come early, would she be born all buffed up?
Bed rest is the name they gave for the treatment I was receiving (God Thing 3), you know the type of rest where you are awakened every 3 hours and prodded and probed with invasive questions like "Are your kidneys functioning?", "Have you pooped yet?", and "Are you experiencing any sort of discharge?" Discharge??? Do you mean as in 'my OB said that I would be discharged on Wednesday' right before he left to go duck hunting in Louisiana? Nope, sorry! No discharge here of any form, just a princess wanting to go home. Check all of those EMPTY rooms down the hallway.
On the Wednesday evening (when I was supposed to go home) before, the associate of my OB doctor strolled in doing his buddy's rounds. He said, "I know Dr. McClannahan promised you that you could go home today but the weather is supposed to get rough and I'm afraid that if I send you home, being as you live 45 minutes from the hospital, and something happens you might have a little trouble getting back to the hospital." I was not surprised. In fact, I told Dr. Bell that I was sure that McDaddy knew that I would not be going home and he saddled him with giving me the impending bad news. He agreed that was a more than likely scenario of what had transpired. We had both gotten the shaft by a man gone to shoot ducks on a frozen pond. So, another night in the hospital....yea!!!! (God Thing 4)
We woke up that next morning and John received word that a workshop that he was supposed to attend had been cancelled due to road conditions (God Thing 5). I had finished breakfast and it was pretty good....as good as you can get for hospital food. The tastiness of this meal may have been due to the no salt bland food that I had been eating since Monday...well, maybe not eating since I had dropped 5 pounds since I had been in the hospital. Nonetheless, I ate it all. Every single morsel and maybe even the plastic that it was wrapped in disappeared without a trace. Once I completed my meal, John decided to go get something to eat. I requested that he wait until I go to the restroom. Did I need his help? No. For some reason, I just wanted him to wait until I got out (God Thing 6).
I scooted off the bed and started my shuffle to the bathroom. These were my thoughts as I began my trek: Step 1-"That felt odd!", Step 2-"That may be some of that discharge they've been harping about." I reached the bathroom and proceeded to take care of business. I couldn't help but notice that bright red glow that covered the floor in front of me. It was so bright, in fact, that I did not notice the cord that hung right beside me to call the nurse if I needed help.
I cracked the door open a touch and asked John if he would get a nurse. "Do you need some help?" he asks. Why yes! I believe I do! He catches sight of the Red River and begins to scream "NURSE!! WE NEED A NURSE!!!" He throws open the door and is yelling down the hallway. I remember thinking that it was highly unnecessary for this reaction as my room was right across the hallway from the nurse's station due to the princess factor. Albeit the entire wing was full now because the weather had changed and everybody knows that weather changes and a full moon cause people to freak out and go into labor and stuff.
This sweet nurse walks in and calmly asks "Do you need some help? Oh my. Yes you do." She told me to have a seat. Really? Have a seat? On the toilet? Ok. Didn't seem like a good idea to me but I thought if this baby is about to fall out it would probably be better to fall into the toilet than onto the floor. I'm not sure the amount of counseling it would take for a child to overcome a toilet birth but oh well, we'll see. She leaves the room. I thought she was unusually calm but so was I under the circumstances (God Thing 7). But where did she go?
A moment later, about Nurses 2, 3, 4, and 5 ran into the room. These were not as calm as Nurse 1. It suddenly seemed like this was serious. "What's going on?" one says to us. Well,...there's this blood stuff... gushing from me... like a fire hydrant being flushed out. Panic ensues. If Luke would have been there, this one have been the moment that he said "Ok. Things are about to get real!" A gurney was being sought. Nurse 1 shows back up with a wheel chair. They loaded me in the wheel chair to take me back down the hallway to Labor and Delivery (the whole baby thing didn't transpire all in the same room at that time).
I remember being particularly concerned about the satin gown that John had purchased for me because I was a princess. It was not red and should never be defiled in such a manner. I'm sure that I was sufficiently annoying these not-so calm nurses that acted like this was serious or something. They humored me; to the point that they let me fix my gown where I wouldn't be sitting in a pool of blood. No blood got on the gown by the way. (God Thing 8) I remember feeling fairly calm although I had no idea what in the world was transpiring. It was a blissful ignorance that blinded me from the chaotic reality that was profound (God Thing 9).
We entered through the doors of the Labor and Delivery. "I'm back!" I shouted to the nurses there that had began the week of my princess spa vaca. They looked at me with a face that loudly shouted, "My Lord! She is delirious!!" Still enjoying the ride down the hallway with my entourage.
They were hooking me up to all kinds of machines and monitors. "We can't find Dr. McClannahan! He's not answering his pager (because there were no cell phones then)." I wonder if he had his pager.....in the duck blind....on the frozen pond.....in Northeast Louisiana. We managed to portray the message that he was out of town and they needed to contact Dr. Bell. Well, what do you know, Dr. Bell answered his pager. Bless it!
Dr. Bell arrives and begins to assess the situation. Wait a minute. Where is my doctor with the small slender hands? He is the one I want right now. Not Dr. Hulk Hands. Oh my gosh. Oh yeah, he's in a duck blind on a frozen pond in Northeast Louisiana. DOG! No time for you now. King Bell of the Labor and Delivery Province is here and handling the mess you left.
Still hemorrhaging. I'm glad I didn't have the view everyone else had. Nurse 2, a nurse that seemed to be more mature in age, comes in the room. She seemed to be all up into this organized chaos that was going on as was evident as she walked by John and without skipping a beat pushed him into a chair while saying "You're fixing to pass out and we don't have time to pick you up." (God Thing 10)
Nurse 3 yells out. I cannot get a heartbeat on the baby. Did you seriously need to yell that out? You are so not aiding in my ability to stay calm. As a matter of fact, if I hadn't lost so much blood, I might have the energy to be upset with you right now. At this point, it was serious to me. "Come on Baby Girl! Don't this to me now." The nurses assured me that Moriah was fine because she was kicking and moving around. Apparently, you can't do that if you don't have a heartbeat.
I think we were a little taken back when asked who our pediatrician was. What do you mean? We don't have any kids. Oh wait. That means we need one right now. The pediatrician that we intended on using was on a sabbatical. We were told we had to choose one immediately (and they are not allowed to help). Seriously? Not even in an emergency situation which apparently this has grown to be. I knew 2 pediatricians in Fort Smith from the old days of my unfortunate incarceration with DCFS. (God Thing 11) The first name out of my mouth was Dr. Cheshier. Dr. Bell informs the nurses that Dr. Cheshier was in the same seminar that he had been in just down the hallway. (God Thing 12) No need for pagers! Just get John to run out in the hallway and yell "PEDIATRICIAN! WE NEED A PEDIATRICIAN!"
My mom's birthday was the next day. I, in my infinite oblivion, wondered if we could shut this process down until midnight. Wouldn't it be so cool for your first grandchild to be born on your birthday? These ideas were thwarted before they were ever verbalized (God Thing 13) when John arises from his state of 'What the Heck?' and asks "What kind of time frame are we looking at, Dr. Bell?" The answer being "within the hour" made me think perhaps an early birthday present for Mom.
John had managed to get in touch with everybody which was not an easy task. Remember: cell phones were rare back in the day. Otherwise, I would have been on the phone during the c-section. Yes, I would've been that lady. However, we were strapped to the confines of land lines. My dad was hearing impaired or chose to not hear the phone when it rang. My mom was at the beauty shop that happened to be right across the street from the band room. John called the band room, it was during high school band hour. (God Thing 14) Mr. Nichols sent one of the students across the street to tell my mom that they needed to come to the hospital.
An anesthesiologist had been summoned. I don't remember his name but I'll just call him Best Friend EVER. He gave me a cocktail of phenergan (remember the HUGE breakfast I ate? This was to keep me from losing it when they cut me open and I have the inability to just rollover and puke), morphine, and a small dose of Heaven. I don't know the scientific name but the combination of these drugs caused me to not even feel the 25 gauge 3.5 inch needle that Best Friend Ever inserted in my back. (God Thing 15) Best Friend Ever was left in disbelief when I requested he let me know when he was getting ready to stick me so that I wouldn't flinch. I watched as they strapped my arms down while putting IV ports, monitors, and blood pressure cuffs on me and thinking I was being crucified. "Within the Hour" had commenced. Still on the happy bus to Oblivion.
At 10:01AM, Thursday, January 9, 1997, weighing in at 3 pounds 2 ounces and measuring 15 3/4 inches, scoring an APGAR of 8, Moriah Brook Fultz came into this world via a hole in Mommy's tummy. She was little but beautiful. Beautiful in an ET sort of way because, to be honest, she was a little grayish at first. She was breathing 98% oxygen on her own within minutes of being born (unheard of for a preemie). The heart monitor that she was placed on for precautionary measures went off once or twice when her little go go gadget legs would wiggle around and kick the leads off (also, unheard of for a preemie). (God Thing 16)
My 3 days of Princesshood had ended for a new chick was in town. Princess Moriah reigned supreme and has been every day since.
In hindsight, what seemed like organized chaos at the time was not chaotic at all. Sometimes God blesses us with a "hopefully" temporary ignorance of the seriousness of our situation so later we can see the work that He performed. Everyone and everything was right where they needed to be, when they needed to be, to carry out God's Perfect Plan. One God Thing right after another. Praise Him for 16 wonderful years of a precious baby girl. It doesn't get any "SWEETER" than that!
Wednesday, January 09, 2013
Saturday, December 15, 2012
You Don't Impress Me Much
I thought I had penned this before but I can't find it so I will recreate it to the best of my recollection.
When my daughter was in first grade, we lived in Southwest Arkansas and it was the year the Arkansas quarter came out. There was a big dedication service at Crater of Diamonds State Park. We had several family members that came down for the ceremony and I took Moriah out of school for a little history in the making and diamond digging fun!
I have this thing about getting my picture made with governors. I have a picture of me with Bill Clinton (several times), Jim Guy Tucker, and Mike Huckabee. While each picture was not that big of a deal to the governor, I have a story that made it special to me. I corrected Bill Clinton for mispronouncing my name once and told him it was OK to wash his hands before he shook mine another time when he sneezed right before my turn to pose with him. Jim Guy Tucker was mauled by reporters in Washington DC immediately following my picture with him to discuss the pardoning of some criminals in Arkansas by the acting governor while Jim Guy was attending Bill Clinton's inauguration. The photo op with Mike Huckabee was fairly uneventful with the exception of John and I had taken an awesome group of young ladies to the state capitol to page for our local senator and representative. So, I guess I was due for an over the top Gubernatorial Photo!
At the Quarter Dedication, Governor Mike Huckabee was one of many speakers. Since I had already had my picture made with him, I really didn't have an interest in that. But, I thought I might try to force this tradition upon my 6 year old daughter. There were people crowding around him like he was some sort of celebrity and he had an entourage of security. Oh please!!!!!
I took Moriah up there in the midst of the crowd. I told her that I couldn't get to him with all of the people. I said, "You can get up there. Just walk in between these guys' legs, tug on his pants leg, and tell him you want your picture made with him and then they will let me through with the camera to get the picture!"
We had the perfect plan! She weaved her little body through men in black suits and reached the intended destination. Step 1 complete! She tugged on his pant leg. STEP 2!!!!! He looked down at her and with a smile on his face he knelt down and asked her if she had a question for him. YES! SUCCESS!!!! Or, so I thought.....
Much to my horror this is where the plan went awry. Not really but it brought about embarrassment that I was not prepared for at the moment. My precious baby girl looked him right in the face. Her eyes grew larger than life and shone blue for the whole world to see. She turned to look at me as I stood there holding my camera ready to capture the moment for all posterity. The air grew silent and everyone in this mob of people seemed focused on this little girl who had fought through the forest of persons more than twice her size to get to the governor. With a tone of fear in her little voice she screamed, "I DON'T WANT MY PICTURE MADE WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!"
Monday, October 22, 2012
God Never Fails
As I sit here in my den trying to figure out how to start this post, tears come to eyes for I'm at a loss for words. I know that comes as a shock to most of you. But, every once in a blue moon, it happens. Even though it is on rare occasion, this occurs for different reasons. Perhaps the one today, is the overwhelming humility I feel at the wise words of my 7 year old son.
Since kindergarten, Luke has struggled with school. He appears to have vast knowledge but for whatever reason will not perform up to what we believe he is capable. Kindergarten was frustrating both for his teacher and us. We had a very hard year that year. We were in the middle of building a new home. While that brought unbelievable stress on our family, it was nothing in comparison to what came next. My dad was unexpectedly taken from us at the age of 86. By unexpectedly, I mean he was in seemingly good health, came down with bronchitis that turned into pneumonia, and after a difficult 3 1/2 weeks of hospitalization, he went to be with the Lord. This was a great shock to all of us. While conferencing with the wonderful teacher (Mrs. Fallen) that Luke had been blessed with that year, I assured her that if given a year that we were not building a new home and suffering the loss of a grandparent, I knew Luke would excel. He came around and did okay for her at the end of the school year and we felt good about him going on to first grade.
First grade, a new year, a new start. I prayed that Luke's new teacher would be a good one. God answered that prayer as was revealed to us at the Open House/Meet the Teacher Night when it was announced that Luke had been assigned to Mrs. Goodwin's class. We were still not finished with our house for various reasons but planned on being it by Christmas. Luke's year started off slow and he was not looking forward to moving into the new house. He was 2 years old when we moved to Perryville and the house we lived in, wretched as it was, was home to him. He had no real memories of home before this. Then, again unexpectedly, John's dad became ill. He was hospitalized several times in that year and left us in March. Another year, another grandfather. This poor child, I can't even imagine what was going through his little mind. But again, much to the frustration of everyone involved, Luke struggled with getting his classwork done. His grades were not good. Toward the end of the year, he stepped up and did really well with the help of a very special person (Michelle Stell, you know who you are), to whom we are very thankful. He recently told me "Some of my friends in my class didn't pass 1st grade. I almost didn't pass 1st grade but I pulled it out in the end." :-)
We moved in our new house in December. He has gotten used to it, seems to be home to him. Both grandmothers seem to be doing fairly well. School starts and we are excited about 2nd grade. A new year and new challenges. This is the first year that students change classrooms for different subjects. Let's see how it goes.
School starts and immediately he begins his yearly struggles. Long gone is the excuse of turmoil and upheaval. Everything appears on the surface to be a-ok. Yet, the same reports are coming from school. He isn't doing his work at school. He is frustrated and exhibiting disappointment with himself . He shows anxiety about anything to do with schoolwork. As a mother, I am so concerned on so many levels.
Then, one day he tells me, "Mom, I love Sunday School." Though not surprised that he would have this attitude toward Sunday School with his amazing teacher, Mrs. Lucy, I say "Really? Why do you love Sunday School so much?" He says so sincerely, "Because nothing we do is graded and God NEVER fails anyone!"
Wow! How true! He is 7.
Since kindergarten, Luke has struggled with school. He appears to have vast knowledge but for whatever reason will not perform up to what we believe he is capable. Kindergarten was frustrating both for his teacher and us. We had a very hard year that year. We were in the middle of building a new home. While that brought unbelievable stress on our family, it was nothing in comparison to what came next. My dad was unexpectedly taken from us at the age of 86. By unexpectedly, I mean he was in seemingly good health, came down with bronchitis that turned into pneumonia, and after a difficult 3 1/2 weeks of hospitalization, he went to be with the Lord. This was a great shock to all of us. While conferencing with the wonderful teacher (Mrs. Fallen) that Luke had been blessed with that year, I assured her that if given a year that we were not building a new home and suffering the loss of a grandparent, I knew Luke would excel. He came around and did okay for her at the end of the school year and we felt good about him going on to first grade.
First grade, a new year, a new start. I prayed that Luke's new teacher would be a good one. God answered that prayer as was revealed to us at the Open House/Meet the Teacher Night when it was announced that Luke had been assigned to Mrs. Goodwin's class. We were still not finished with our house for various reasons but planned on being it by Christmas. Luke's year started off slow and he was not looking forward to moving into the new house. He was 2 years old when we moved to Perryville and the house we lived in, wretched as it was, was home to him. He had no real memories of home before this. Then, again unexpectedly, John's dad became ill. He was hospitalized several times in that year and left us in March. Another year, another grandfather. This poor child, I can't even imagine what was going through his little mind. But again, much to the frustration of everyone involved, Luke struggled with getting his classwork done. His grades were not good. Toward the end of the year, he stepped up and did really well with the help of a very special person (Michelle Stell, you know who you are), to whom we are very thankful. He recently told me "Some of my friends in my class didn't pass 1st grade. I almost didn't pass 1st grade but I pulled it out in the end." :-)
We moved in our new house in December. He has gotten used to it, seems to be home to him. Both grandmothers seem to be doing fairly well. School starts and we are excited about 2nd grade. A new year and new challenges. This is the first year that students change classrooms for different subjects. Let's see how it goes.
School starts and immediately he begins his yearly struggles. Long gone is the excuse of turmoil and upheaval. Everything appears on the surface to be a-ok. Yet, the same reports are coming from school. He isn't doing his work at school. He is frustrated and exhibiting disappointment with himself . He shows anxiety about anything to do with schoolwork. As a mother, I am so concerned on so many levels.
Then, one day he tells me, "Mom, I love Sunday School." Though not surprised that he would have this attitude toward Sunday School with his amazing teacher, Mrs. Lucy, I say "Really? Why do you love Sunday School so much?" He says so sincerely, "Because nothing we do is graded and God NEVER fails anyone!"
Wow! How true! He is 7.
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
I'M BUSY!
I've recently been accused of things that I have never before been accused of.....to my face anyway. And in one particular instance not to my face but to my facebook. LOL.
I have a job to do and I take it very seriously. I am a Stay At Home Mom. My duties primarily consist of paying bills and taking care of my kids (and other duties as the need arises). I am a busy person.
I have the responsibility entrusted on me to pay bills for my family in what may very well be the worst economy since the Great Depression. I do all of this so my family will have a home to live, water to drink and bathe, electricity to do practically everything, and food to eat. I do this! I do this with one income brought in by a very hard working husband that goes to work sick or hurting or whatever he needs to do to support his family. God has blessed me with an amazing man of God who is an awesome husband and father. He is the primary financial provider and I pay the bills with a tight budget that leaves little or no extra left for extravagance. Together, we try to raise our children with Godly moral values and teach them responsibility.
I have spent most of the Summer with my family. My kids were not in day care or pawned off on someone else while I went out on adventures with friends, spent money we didn't have or just stayed home by myself and did nothing.
We have attended church as a family, kept an amazing group of preschoolers, done VBS, been to church camp, packed bags for other camps, spent countless hours in prayer for my family as well as others, and been a shoulder to cry on when feelings were hurt by words or actions of others. I apologize if your job or lifestyle does not allow this.
I went to work with my husband. Contrary to what you may believe, not all teachers are off for 3 months in the summer. It is unfortunate that your husband's job does not welcome volunteer work.
We spent time at an amusement park where I watched my awesome baby daddy teach our son to swim....in a wave pool, experienced that first roller coaster ride with one who after years of waiting was finally tall enough, and encourage them to overcome fears of water slides. We floated in the lazy river and rode (or attempted) the waves on a boogie board. Again, how sad if your life does not allow this type of family fun to happen.
I attended a baseball game and radio station with some pretty cool Cub Scouts. I experienced Jump Zone and Discovery with a group of awesome kids. We went to the zoo and rode the train and carousel. We went over the river and/or through the woods to grandmother's house(s). We played with friends, laughed, went for walks, or stayed home and relaxed. We shopped because even grocery shopping is an adventure even though not as fun as clothes shopping.....for us girls anyway. We watched Olympics. We went to eat, ordered completely off the Dollar Menu, and fed a family of four for $13(this is unbelievable fun). I apologize if you don't get to do such things with your hectic schedule.
I have non-stop laundry. Is it all done and put into it's appropriate place? No. Does it have an appropriate place? Yes. Does it ever make it there? Rarely. Is my house in order? No. Let she who is without dust, cast the first stone. I have adventures to go on and things to do. Some day you'll wish that you had.
If you tried to call me at any point during this time and I didn't answer my phone, I apologize for that as well. I keep the ringer off on my phone most of the time. How would it make you feel if I was talking to you, my phone rang, and I answered it because you were not important enough to me to carry on a conversation with me? If it is an emergency, keep calling until I answer. If you wanted to ask me something, leave a message. If you left a message and I didn't call back, leave another one. Text me. If you text me with "let me know if you need anything," I will assume that if I don't need anything, I don't need to text you back. My mother is the only person who has a right to interrupt my conversation with another. All others can wait.
If you have a problem with me or my family, feel free to come to me. Having said that, be prepared to face my thunder cookies. It is not necessary to lie about my family to make yours look better. If you choose to do so, please don't take offense when I choose to defend the ones that God has blessed me with. And, while I welcome any and all sincere heartfelt prayers for my family, don't call me unforgiving when I go into defensive stance against evils brought upon my family by others. I am a mother and shame on you if you wouldn't do the same. God gets angry and He hurts when His children hurt. Am I better than he? Certainly not. I'm sorry if you view me as unforgiving.
No, actually I'm not sorry. I apologize if you have been offended by any of my actions or any of my choices in protecting my family. I apologize that you do not appreciate the "worn out" feeling that never leaves a true stay at home mom who never rests because there is always one more sock to wash, one more errand to run, or one more prayer to prayed. I do not apologize for any of the time I spent with my family. I do feel sorry for you if you are not rewarded with a career like mine or you chose not to take advantage of it when you had the chance. I am not an unemployed housewife. I am mother. Hear me roar.
I have a job to do and I take it very seriously. I am a Stay At Home Mom. My duties primarily consist of paying bills and taking care of my kids (and other duties as the need arises). I am a busy person.
I have the responsibility entrusted on me to pay bills for my family in what may very well be the worst economy since the Great Depression. I do all of this so my family will have a home to live, water to drink and bathe, electricity to do practically everything, and food to eat. I do this! I do this with one income brought in by a very hard working husband that goes to work sick or hurting or whatever he needs to do to support his family. God has blessed me with an amazing man of God who is an awesome husband and father. He is the primary financial provider and I pay the bills with a tight budget that leaves little or no extra left for extravagance. Together, we try to raise our children with Godly moral values and teach them responsibility.
I have spent most of the Summer with my family. My kids were not in day care or pawned off on someone else while I went out on adventures with friends, spent money we didn't have or just stayed home by myself and did nothing.
We have attended church as a family, kept an amazing group of preschoolers, done VBS, been to church camp, packed bags for other camps, spent countless hours in prayer for my family as well as others, and been a shoulder to cry on when feelings were hurt by words or actions of others. I apologize if your job or lifestyle does not allow this.
I went to work with my husband. Contrary to what you may believe, not all teachers are off for 3 months in the summer. It is unfortunate that your husband's job does not welcome volunteer work.
We spent time at an amusement park where I watched my awesome baby daddy teach our son to swim....in a wave pool, experienced that first roller coaster ride with one who after years of waiting was finally tall enough, and encourage them to overcome fears of water slides. We floated in the lazy river and rode (or attempted) the waves on a boogie board. Again, how sad if your life does not allow this type of family fun to happen.
I attended a baseball game and radio station with some pretty cool Cub Scouts. I experienced Jump Zone and Discovery with a group of awesome kids. We went to the zoo and rode the train and carousel. We went over the river and/or through the woods to grandmother's house(s). We played with friends, laughed, went for walks, or stayed home and relaxed. We shopped because even grocery shopping is an adventure even though not as fun as clothes shopping.....for us girls anyway. We watched Olympics. We went to eat, ordered completely off the Dollar Menu, and fed a family of four for $13(this is unbelievable fun). I apologize if you don't get to do such things with your hectic schedule.
I have non-stop laundry. Is it all done and put into it's appropriate place? No. Does it have an appropriate place? Yes. Does it ever make it there? Rarely. Is my house in order? No. Let she who is without dust, cast the first stone. I have adventures to go on and things to do. Some day you'll wish that you had.
If you tried to call me at any point during this time and I didn't answer my phone, I apologize for that as well. I keep the ringer off on my phone most of the time. How would it make you feel if I was talking to you, my phone rang, and I answered it because you were not important enough to me to carry on a conversation with me? If it is an emergency, keep calling until I answer. If you wanted to ask me something, leave a message. If you left a message and I didn't call back, leave another one. Text me. If you text me with "let me know if you need anything," I will assume that if I don't need anything, I don't need to text you back. My mother is the only person who has a right to interrupt my conversation with another. All others can wait.
If you have a problem with me or my family, feel free to come to me. Having said that, be prepared to face my thunder cookies. It is not necessary to lie about my family to make yours look better. If you choose to do so, please don't take offense when I choose to defend the ones that God has blessed me with. And, while I welcome any and all sincere heartfelt prayers for my family, don't call me unforgiving when I go into defensive stance against evils brought upon my family by others. I am a mother and shame on you if you wouldn't do the same. God gets angry and He hurts when His children hurt. Am I better than he? Certainly not. I'm sorry if you view me as unforgiving.
No, actually I'm not sorry. I apologize if you have been offended by any of my actions or any of my choices in protecting my family. I apologize that you do not appreciate the "worn out" feeling that never leaves a true stay at home mom who never rests because there is always one more sock to wash, one more errand to run, or one more prayer to prayed. I do not apologize for any of the time I spent with my family. I do feel sorry for you if you are not rewarded with a career like mine or you chose not to take advantage of it when you had the chance. I am not an unemployed housewife. I am mother. Hear me roar.
Thursday, July 05, 2012
Just Rolling With The Flow, Firecracker!
Since we love our new home and we did not want to go to jail for
turning it and the entire mountain into a giant charcoal grill, we
decided to make a trek to the Rock and enjoy "Pops on the River." We
arrived a few hours before the show to procure an excellent parking spot
that would ensure a speedy departure in the impending mass exodus. We
ooh'd, we ahh'd, it was moving. Indeed, the fireworks were
spectacular. Then, we walked back to our parking spot.
Once we arrived at our vehicle, traffic was already backed up worse than a man with the intestional fortitude to eat an entire five pound block of cheese without an Exlax to be found. We loaded our gear and prepared to get on the road. The nice man in the enormous SUV had already gotten into the flow (guess he brought his own laxative). He was leaving a car length space. Is this not the universal sign for "Come on in, Buddy!"?
That's what we thought too! But, contraire mon fraire, it is NOT! John pulled up into the open slot and Enormous SUV Guy lunged forward and showed his displeasure with us. He said, "You could've asked if I would let you in, you didn't have to just shoot in there like that. You could've asked first." John, being the natural smart mouth that he is, responded, "Ok....so...Can I get in?" ESUV Guy, "WHAT?" John, "Ok, can I get in?"
He just sits there glaring at us. I was smiling the whole time because that's how I roll. Hard to be intimidated in such a ridiculous situation. Meanwhile, the parking lot is emptying, kids on bikes, and little old ladies on Hoverounds are passing us. Then, we all knew it would happen eventually, the cars behind him started honking. After all, it was late and everybody wanted out of Downtown Little Rock as quickly as possible.
At that very moment, a moment I believe he meant to be intense, my 7 year old (who we have begun to call The Shizz for obvious reasons) raised up out of his booster seat in the back and exclaims loudly, "DUDE, you're holding up traffic!!!!" A sister was mortified, a dad goes with the flow, and a mom just keeps on smiling...cause that's how we roll!
Once we arrived at our vehicle, traffic was already backed up worse than a man with the intestional fortitude to eat an entire five pound block of cheese without an Exlax to be found. We loaded our gear and prepared to get on the road. The nice man in the enormous SUV had already gotten into the flow (guess he brought his own laxative). He was leaving a car length space. Is this not the universal sign for "Come on in, Buddy!"?
That's what we thought too! But, contraire mon fraire, it is NOT! John pulled up into the open slot and Enormous SUV Guy lunged forward and showed his displeasure with us. He said, "You could've asked if I would let you in, you didn't have to just shoot in there like that. You could've asked first." John, being the natural smart mouth that he is, responded, "Ok....so...Can I get in?" ESUV Guy, "WHAT?" John, "Ok, can I get in?"
He just sits there glaring at us. I was smiling the whole time because that's how I roll. Hard to be intimidated in such a ridiculous situation. Meanwhile, the parking lot is emptying, kids on bikes, and little old ladies on Hoverounds are passing us. Then, we all knew it would happen eventually, the cars behind him started honking. After all, it was late and everybody wanted out of Downtown Little Rock as quickly as possible.
At that very moment, a moment I believe he meant to be intense, my 7 year old (who we have begun to call The Shizz for obvious reasons) raised up out of his booster seat in the back and exclaims loudly, "DUDE, you're holding up traffic!!!!" A sister was mortified, a dad goes with the flow, and a mom just keeps on smiling...cause that's how we roll!
Thursday, March 01, 2012
Not Kid Approved!
Took my kids to McDonald's today on a trip home from an orthodontist appointment for my daughter. We were facing time constraints so it was the drive-thru for us.
I had forgotten about the new unimproved Happy Meal. It struck me as odd when my 6 year old yells at the speaker, "I'll have the large fries with that!" The nice young man handed me our food and as is customary, since they have automatic drink fillers now, I got out to take my son's Sprite in to chase it with Dr. Pepper.....because that's how he rolls. We call it an attempted suicide. You experienced folks like me will understand this. If you don't, google "suicide drink." So, anyhow, I get the prince's attempted suicide and return to the truck. It's back on the road for us! My son was whining about not getting what he ordered. I checked his sack and there were chicken nuggets, apple slices, and a very teeny tiny microscopic fry container with just a few fries. I assured him that is what he ordered because God forbid I order him anything with a hamburger patty on it!
All of a sudden, a package of sliced apples flies from the backseat and hits the windshield. My son says in a very discontent voice, "There is NOTHING happy about this MEAL!"
Sliced apples and dollhouse sized fries???? Really??? Mickey D............what WERE you thinking? Did Michelle Obama tell you that you were making kids fat? First, some McDonald's are not putting toys in their meals and now the smaller servings of fries. In my personal opinion, this will make kids fatter. We'll have to start ordering extra fries so they can get their little baby fixes fulfilled. And, no toy? Why is this? So, the kids will actually have to eat the food now instead of immediately playing with the toy, thus making them fatter. Doesn't seem like a good plan to me. Not KID approved!
I had forgotten about the new unimproved Happy Meal. It struck me as odd when my 6 year old yells at the speaker, "I'll have the large fries with that!" The nice young man handed me our food and as is customary, since they have automatic drink fillers now, I got out to take my son's Sprite in to chase it with Dr. Pepper.....because that's how he rolls. We call it an attempted suicide. You experienced folks like me will understand this. If you don't, google "suicide drink." So, anyhow, I get the prince's attempted suicide and return to the truck. It's back on the road for us! My son was whining about not getting what he ordered. I checked his sack and there were chicken nuggets, apple slices, and a very teeny tiny microscopic fry container with just a few fries. I assured him that is what he ordered because God forbid I order him anything with a hamburger patty on it!
All of a sudden, a package of sliced apples flies from the backseat and hits the windshield. My son says in a very discontent voice, "There is NOTHING happy about this MEAL!"
Sliced apples and dollhouse sized fries???? Really??? Mickey D............what WERE you thinking? Did Michelle Obama tell you that you were making kids fat? First, some McDonald's are not putting toys in their meals and now the smaller servings of fries. In my personal opinion, this will make kids fatter. We'll have to start ordering extra fries so they can get their little baby fixes fulfilled. And, no toy? Why is this? So, the kids will actually have to eat the food now instead of immediately playing with the toy, thus making them fatter. Doesn't seem like a good plan to me. Not KID approved!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
I Have Visual!
John was attending a band parent meeting and I had to go pick him up. Once we returned to the house, I went to the door and rang the doorbell but stood where I couldn't be seen through the glass on the door. I motioned for John to get back.
Inside the house, I hear both kids running to the door. I hear the lock on the door start to turn (but not completely unlocked) and could see Moriah looking out the window. Immediately the door was locked back. The glass is beveled in such a manner that she was not able to see me at the angle that I was but I moved over some more just for pure dramatic effect. I reached over and rang the doorbell again. I turned to look at John. He grinned really big and took off running around the house.
I could hear the kids talking. Moriah was telling Luke that they couldn't open the door because there was no one there. Luke of course wanted to open the door. He told her it was me. She kept telling him she couldn't see anyone. My phone rang. I was going to carry it on a little longer and not answer my phone. But, the wee one gets the smart idea to raise the shade on the window that I was standing in front of. Luke said, "I told you it was Mom!" My jig was up! I roared at them trying to scare them a little although the only one I scared was the dog. She growled at me AS she was running away....great guard dog.
I'm not sure what John was doing during this time. He may have already set his scheme into motion. I came in the house and turned the light on behind the house. John started shaking the patio door. Luke raised the blind but he wasn't there. Moriah calmly walked to all the doors in the house and locked them all with a smile on her face. John hung out in the dark for a little longer before finally using his key to come in. He thought I was still outside running around trying to scare the kids. Joke's on him, I was already in the house and on facebook before he got the door unlocked. We are so sadistic.
I explained to Moriah that I preferred that if the doorbell rings when just she and her brother are home to call me first. I praised her for 3 things: 1) not opening the door, 2) calling me, and 3) locking her dad outside after she let me in the house. :D
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Inside the house, I hear both kids running to the door. I hear the lock on the door start to turn (but not completely unlocked) and could see Moriah looking out the window. Immediately the door was locked back. The glass is beveled in such a manner that she was not able to see me at the angle that I was but I moved over some more just for pure dramatic effect. I reached over and rang the doorbell again. I turned to look at John. He grinned really big and took off running around the house.
I could hear the kids talking. Moriah was telling Luke that they couldn't open the door because there was no one there. Luke of course wanted to open the door. He told her it was me. She kept telling him she couldn't see anyone. My phone rang. I was going to carry it on a little longer and not answer my phone. But, the wee one gets the smart idea to raise the shade on the window that I was standing in front of. Luke said, "I told you it was Mom!" My jig was up! I roared at them trying to scare them a little although the only one I scared was the dog. She growled at me AS she was running away....great guard dog.
I'm not sure what John was doing during this time. He may have already set his scheme into motion. I came in the house and turned the light on behind the house. John started shaking the patio door. Luke raised the blind but he wasn't there. Moriah calmly walked to all the doors in the house and locked them all with a smile on her face. John hung out in the dark for a little longer before finally using his key to come in. He thought I was still outside running around trying to scare the kids. Joke's on him, I was already in the house and on facebook before he got the door unlocked. We are so sadistic.
I explained to Moriah that I preferred that if the doorbell rings when just she and her brother are home to call me first. I praised her for 3 things: 1) not opening the door, 2) calling me, and 3) locking her dad outside after she let me in the house. :D
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